Jaffen
by Jaffen's Girl
Summary: Jaffen remembers Kathryn the best he ever had. Goes along with You Tube Video "Jaffen" by VSaffie


**Jaffen**

Written by Jaffen's Girl

8/5/11

Amended 5/16/13 for simple mistakes –not context.

Star Trek and its Characters are not mine. They were merely borrowed for my perverse pleasure.

Yes PERVERSE this story has adult content... Engorged member was a must in writing this story...

**NC-17 No children allowed.**

Description: This story goes along with a video made by VSaffie "Jaffen" and includes lyrics and ideas derived from the song "Best I Ever Had" by Vertical Horizon. The video is intended to depict Jaffen and his reaction to Kathryn's sudden departure, leaving Jaffen with only his memories. I recommend reading the fic before watching the video for optimal understanding, but it is not necessary.

/j1OFvyxfBhk

Note: This is my first fanfic, I'd love some reviews ;-)

Jaffen entered his dark apartment and placed his duffel bag on the floor just inside the door. The memories from 24 hours ago were still fresh in his mind.

"I won't need souvenirs to remember you." Kathryn Janeway embraced the Norvalen man that she had very recently fallen in love with. Tears threatened her eyes and then spilled down her cheeks. She had spent the last few days without him putting her life back together. The whole process was confusing and heart wrenching. She wanted to ask him to stay with her, to join her crew and go back to earth with her but it just wasn't possible. She realized he didn't know her well enough to give himself to her completely, to leave everything behind, it was too soon and even though she was certain he would, she refused to let him.

"I wrote you a letter." She handed him a folded piece of paper. "I don't like goodbyes Jaffen and there is so much I want to say to you."

Her gaze was pleading for an easy out and Jaffen noticed. He took the letter from her and placed it in his pocket. He had so much to say as well but he wouldn't get the chance.

Jaffen reached out and brushed away the tears that stained her cheeks leaving his own tears to dry on their own. He slowly pushed his lips to hers and was met with the heat of Kathryn's passion. She held him closer and tighter then she had ever done. Jaffen matched her desire to be close and pressed into her. He soon broke their kiss and looked down into her sad blue eyes.

"How do you get this thing off?" He tugged playfully at her uniform jacket.

She gave him a naughty smile, unzipped the garment and it fell to the floor. "I thought you'd never ask."

Kathryn led Jaffen into her bedroom where he undressed her slowly, changing the pace of their encounter. He then laid her down on her bed. He intended to show her how he felt about her, and that he was going to miss her.

She moaned as he gently sucked her nipple and kneaded the soft flesh of her breast. His free hand caressed her hip then squeezed her buttock. Jaffen wanted to savor the feel of her skin and memorize the sounds of pleasure as they escaped her.

Their goodbye lasted well into the morning. The two lovers indulged themselves knowing the end was inevitable and in the end she couldn't fight her tears and it didn't matter he just held her closely and her tears blended with his own.

"What we had was special" He spoke softly while slowly exploring her. She moaned in pleasure then looked up into his eyes.

"We have something special; I'll never forget you Jaffen." She choked up upon reaching his name. Jaffen covered his mouth with hers to escape the reality of her words.

She walked him to the transporter room and dismissed the young women behind the controls.

"Jaffen," She looked at him and it was clear she was unable to continue.

"Kathryn." He smiled at her. Kissed her gently and walked up the steps onto the transporter pad when he turned around she had pulled herself together and stood ready at the controls.

She nodded to him and he returned her gesture with a small smile.

"Energize" Was the last word he heard her speak.

_**0000000**_

Jaffen pulled the note from his pocket and set it down on the table to his left. He thought about reading it but he opted for his lonely bed instead. He knew that the letter would convince him that she was right to leave him but for now he was hurt and didn't want to understand.

The sun lit-up his one bedroom apartment that stood far above the Quarren trees. The view had seemed so beautiful once not too long ago but now the sky just looked gray.

His hand drifted over to the spot where she lay nights before. He could still smell her scent on her vacant pillow and on their bed sheets. He wondered how long he would be able to indulge himself before her scent would dissipate. He pulled the pillow to his face breathing in the clean floral smell and was whisked away from his empty bed to a time when it wasn't lonely at all.

"Good morning" his voice was horse. Jaffen woke to see Kathryn hovering over him. He assumed she was probably watching him sleep. He reached for her and stroked her face with the back of his hand, "Would you like me to make you some breakfast?"

"Eventually," She was smiling at him. "But I wasn't thinking about breakfast." She reached for him pulling him on top of her. He covered her naked body with his. Her flesh was warm beneath him and his morning wood was now hard enough to comply with her demands and she was demanding.

Kathryn stretched her neck and gently led his lips to her favorite spot, and when she was ready to move on she extended her chest hinting for Jaffen to pay more attention to her breasts. He sucked lightly on her left nipple.

"Harder Jaffen," He loved how she said his name. "Bite down." She demanded.

Making Kathryn moan was Jaffen's personal goal. The throaty hum of her pleasure drove him over the edge every time.

Jaffen's reminiscing was interrupted by the sounds of his alarm. It was time for him to get ready for work. He had gotten used to Kathryn's company and she had been a part of his morning routine. They ate together, bathed together, and walked together. He always looked forward to each of those things. Walking to the bathroom he passed by the dinning room table that was bare except for a small folded piece of paper. He remembered the first dinner she had made for him and he laughed out loud remembering the look on her face when he told her it wasn't good. He couldn't lie to her but most of all he physically couldn't eat it.

He stepped into the shower the hot water made a sufficient amount of steam. He ran his hands over his wet head pushing the water through his thick head of dark gray hair causing it to escape down his back. His thoughts took him to Kathryn and her sonic showers.

"You like this?" She asked him. "Bathing upright" she added.

Jaffen laughed "Yeah it meets my needs," Jaffen answered her.

"It is refreshing but I think I will always prefer a bathtub."

"Oh, why is that?" Jaffen put his arms around her as the water flowed over their naked bodies.

"Well for one thing it can be very romantic," She gave him a small suspicious smile.

While thinking about this moment now alone in his shower Jaffen wondered how much of her memories were false. Had she in fact bathed in a shower much like this before, perhaps with another man? _I will never know for sure_ he thought to himself as he was applying the soap to his body running his hands over his hard chest and abdomen, welcoming more images of Kathryn's soaked naked body into his wandering mind. The same morning with Kathryn was still present in his thoughts remembering more precisely showing her how romantic bathing "upright", he smiled, could be.

He could see her wet face now baring a flirtatious smile that he was, at this point, becoming familiar with. He took the washcloth- that he had just liberally soaped up, in one hand and motioned to her to turn around. Starting with her shoulders he applied a small amount of pressure gently massaging as he moved the soft cloth across her shoulder blades and then down to the lower part of her back. He licked his lips as he watched the suds stream down her back dropping off the cliff of her buttocks and into the space between her two plump cheeks. He followed the suds with his free soapy hand allowing the middle digit to stray into her crack. He wondered for a moment about this portion of her body and how far he'd be allowed to go. He stroked softly just to peak any curiosity she may have about that area as well. He was surprised when she pushed harder into him encouraging his exploration. He continued to stroke her gradually increasing the pressure. His lips worked feverishly on her neck and the hand that once held the washcloth now caressed her breast. Her body flushed with excitement and he too was ready. Jaffen leaned over her to adjust the shower-head, his hard cock slipped vertically in the depths of her cheeks where his hand had just recently been.

"Oops" his hot breath whispered in her ear but he did not reposition himself. He pointed the stream of water down her back and rinsed the suds away and then he turned the shower-head towards the tiled wall.

He moved his hand down the smooth skin of her belly through a small patch of hair seeking the soft lips that were not far beneath. His fingers ran between her lips slipping in her wetness. The urge to taste her was too strong to ignore. He bent down knowing he was in tight quarters, Kathryn positioned herself allowing him easy access to the feast he was longing for. He entered her with his tongue and exited her slowly tasting all he could with his first probing. She was exquisite. Her warm juices were unlike any other, tangy at first and then the taste was softer a lightly salted cream. He buried his face into her most private area lapping her juices and sucking on each lip as if one were to get jealous if he strayed too long to be with the other. He moved without hesitation to suck gently on her clitoris. He pressed his lips to her swollen nub surrounding it completely and sucking as if it were her nipple. He flicked her clit with his soft wet tongue and felt her body jerk above him, he had learned that Kathryn was a go-to-it kinda gal and that was how he gave it to her… most of the time, this was one of those times.

Using one of his hands he coated his finger with her juices. With the lubed finger he massaged the small opening to her back door just enough to drive Kathryn to the brink of ecstasy. Kathryn's legs were beginning to shake and he knew that she would not last much longer. He reluctantly eased up and gently kissed her soft pussy bringing her back to him. He felt her nails dig into his flesh, she was frustrated. Kathryn's back was up against the slick tile of the shower and one foot set on the convenient ledge. Jaffen lifted her body by pushing up on her thighs and she braced herself as he stood and positioned her onto his engorged member. She wrapped her arms around his neck tasting herself on his lips. He pounded upward into her, she bobbed off of his hips and he was hypnotized by the bounce of her small breast. They acted as a good distraction from Kathryn's screams of pleasure as her orgasm ripped through her. He was aware now of her insides slamming down on his erection. Jaffen's eyes shifted to see her face in a moment so personal and sweet. Watching her cum was all he could take within seconds he released screaming her name. Their breaths were sporadic and heavy. He kissed her heaving chest and looked up at the woman whom had changed his whole world. Kathryn's flushed face was beaming at him while she was trying to catch the breath he had taken from her. She brought her hand to his face and wiped away some moisture from around his mouth with her thumb.

_**0000000**_

After work Jaffen decided he would get a drink before returning home. He thought it would be a good idea to be around people again in a social setting and try to resume the life he had before Kathryn. It turned out to be less then enjoyable. He embarrassed himself on more then one occasion because he was convinced he saw Kathryn walk in to the establishment and it caused him to rise from his seat and halt whatever conversation he was initially half-engaged in with his friends. These friends felt it was necessary to talk about his misfortune and give him their sympathy. It wasn't what he had in mind, so Jaffen walked the quite streets alone and imagined that Kathryn was there with him.

When he retuned home for the evening Jaffen finally picked up the letter Kathryn had written him. By the end of the day he had missed her terribly and just holding the handwritten letter made him feel close to her again.

The letter began:

Dear Jaffen,

My heart is breaking knowing that this is the end of a beautiful beginning. I have so much I want to tell you. Mostly I want you to know how important our time together was to me and that you are unforgettable. I regret that you will never know me as a Starship Captain but you have seen a side of me very few people have.

She described her world as the exact opposite as she had remembered before. It sounded like a wonderful place and Jaffen understood her need to return to her command and to her people. In her letter she told Jaffen that when her memories resurfaced each one brought more pain because they took her further from him. She was ashamed and would never admit to her crew that she had never been so disappointed to have been rescued however, her first love was her ship, it was where she belonged and preferred to be.

Jaffen was angry after reading her letter but not at Kathryn. He was feeling sorry for himself and what fate had dealt him. He had never believed in love at first sight until that day the first time he saw her. An alarm had sounded from across the room. He turned to see if he could help because there were a lot of new workers hired. That is when he saw her, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, talking to her console. He was nervous but he didn't show it when he cut in on her conversation with the inanimate object. She looked as if she was annoyed with him insisting she had it under control and it tickled him, she had attitude as well!

Jaffen stood next to her taking mental note of her brilliant personality. She was mature, headstrong and independent. Being closer to her enabled him to get a better look at her. Her skin was smooth, he imagined it would be soft to touch and he was tempted to reach for her so he introduced himself and shook her hand after that he thought it would be a good idea to keep his hands behind his back. Her facial features were defined not by ridges or creases but by the bone structure of her jaw, the soft proud peak of her nose and the brightness of her gorgeous blue eyes. Each eye took shelter beneath a soft shapely brow that she often raised to heighten her expressions. After he returned to his console he could feel her incredible blue lights locked on him and he turned purposely catching her in the act. She was adorable and he knew he had to act fast. Persistence is what it will take, he decided, and that is what it took. The two got along very nicely, as friends; she matched his wit and playful nature. As lovers, she enjoyed his charm and didn't mind his advances at all, it was as if she had been starved of affection because as independent as she was she soaked up whatever attention he would give her and she was affectionate in return.

Jaffen looked again at the note and noticed a few small smudges in the ink where he was sure her tears had fallen.

"It's not so bad" he said to her letter "you're only the best I ever had" he shrugged his shoulders folding the paper along the creases that Kathryn had made. Brokenhearted, he placed the paper in a drawer next to his bed and walked over to the window.

Looking out into the night sky he whispered her name, "Kathryn." He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes exhaling slowly images of her passed through his mind. It was going to take time to get over her, a lot of time.

The End


End file.
